You Must Meet My Wife -A Little Night Music

It seems that Into the Woods is all the rage now on SING! So, I thought I'd post some lesser known Sondheim. This is from A Little Night Music, which in my opinion is one of Sondheim's most gorgeous ear-pleasing scores. In this number, Mr. Fredrik Egerman is telling Desiree Armfeldt, the long-time love of his life all about his new young wife, Anne. ("Her?" -A million points if you get that Arrested Development reference!). Desiree is less than thrilled with the news but thrilled when she learns that their marriage has yet to be consummated.
This show was revived in 2009 starring Angela Lansbury and Catherine Zeta-Jones (whom some may recall from her terrible Tony-awards performance). Below is a video with the song from that cast recording, which is my favorite. 
Fun fact for those Into the Woods aficionados: in the movie, the harp that Jack steals from the giant is playing this song!
So here it is, I have sung Desiree and invite you to join me as Fredrik (gender-bending is always welcome!)
Here are the lyrics:

[FREDRIK]
[Spoken]

I do think it's time to talk about my wife, don't you?

[DESIREE]
To boast or complain?

[FREDRIK]
Both, I expect.

[sings]
She lightens my sadness,
She livens my days,
She bursts with a kind of madness
My well-ordered ways.
My happiest mistake, the ache of my life:
You must meet my wife.
She bubbles with pleasure,
She glows with surprise,
Disrupts my accustomed leisure
And ruffles my ties.
I don't know even now quite how it began.
You must meet my wife, my Anne.
One thousand whims to which I give in,
Since her smallest tear turns me ashen.
I never dreamed that I could live in
So completely demented, contented a fashion.
So sunlike, so winning,
So unlike a wife.
I do think that I'm beginning
To show signs of life.
Don't ask me how at my age one still can grow--
If you met my wife, you'd know.

[DESIREE (speaking):]

Dear Fredrik,
I'm just longing to meet her.
Sometime.

[FREDRIK]

She sparkles...

[DESIREE]

How pleasant.

[FREDRIK]

She twinkles...

[DESIREE]

How nice.

[FREDRIK]

Her youth is a sort of present--

[DESIREE]

Whatever the price.

[FREDRIK]

The incandescent--what?--the--

[DESIREE (offering a cigarette):]

Light?

[FREDRIK]

--of my life.
You must meet my wife.

[DESIREE]

Yes, I must. I really must.
Now--

[FREDRIK]

She flutters.

[DESIREE]

How charming.

[FREDRIK]

She twitters.

[DESIREE]

My word!

[FREDRIK]

She floats.

[DESIREE]

Isn't that alarming?
What is she, a bird?

[FREDRIK]

She makes me feel I'm--what?--

[DESIREE]

A very old man.

[FREDRIK]

Yes--no!

[DESIREE]

No?

[FREDRIK]

But--

[DESIREE]

I must meet your Gertrude.

[FREDRIK]

My Anne.

[DESIREE]

Sorry--Anne.

[FREDRIK]

She loves my voice, my walk, my mustache,
The cigar, in fact, that I'm smoking.
She'll watch me puff until it's just ash,
Then she'll save the cigar butt.

[DESIREE]

Bizarre, but
You're joking.

[FREDRIK]

She dotes on--

[DESIREE]

Your dimple.

[FREDRIK]

My snoring.

[DESIREE]

How dear.

[FREDRIK]

The point is, she's really simple.

[DESIREE]

Yes, that much seems clear.

[FREDRIK]

She gives me funny names--

[DESIREE]

Like?

[FREDRIK]

"Old Dry-as-Dust."

[DESIREE]

Wouldn't she just?

[FREDRIK]

You must meet my wife.

[DESIREE]

Yes, I must, yes, I must.

[FREDRIK]

A sea of whims that I submerge in,
Yet so loveable in repentance.
Unfortunately still a virgin,
But you can't force a flower--

[DESIREE]

Don't finish that sentence!
She's monstrous!

[FREDRIK]

She's frightened.

[DESIREE]

Unfeeling!

[FREDRIK]

Unversed.
She'd strike you as unenlightened--

[DESIREE]

No, I'd strike her first.

[FREDRIK]

Her reticence, her apprehension--

[DESIREE]

Her crust!

[FREDRIK]

No!

[DESIREE]

Yes!

[FREDRIK]

No!

[DESIREE]

Fredrik!

[FREDRIK]

You must meet my wife.

[DESIREE]

Let me get my hat and my knife!

[FREDRIK]

What was that?

[DESIREE]

I must meet your wife.

[FREDRIK AND DESIREE]

Yes, you must.
Yes, I must.

Here's the song:

And here's a small clip of the performance: