A Little Priest -Sweeney Todd

I had been meaning to post some more Sweeney Todd for some time now, but things have been rather hectic lately. Nothing says horror-musical (just in time for Halloween) like a song about murdering people and baking them into pies. Sondheim is a genius. Enough said. The version I have is unfortunately the abbreviated 2007 movie one with Johnny Depp and Helena Bonham Carter, the reason being that the full version is longer than 5 minutes. (Thanks again, Smule). See the video below for the original version with the brilliant Angela Lansbury and Len Cariou. So many puns! I invite you all to join me as Sweeney Todd in this dastardly duet. I sang Mrs. Lovett, since it's actually in my vocal register.

Here are the lyrics:

LOVETT: Seems a downright shame

SWEENEY: Shame?

LOVETT: Seems an awful waste
Such a nice, plump frame

Wot's his name has
Had
Has
Nor it can't be traced

Business needs a lift
Debts to be erased
Think of it as thrift as a gift
If you get my drift, no?

Seems an awful waste
I mean, with the price of meat
What it is? When you get it
If you get it

SWEENEY: Hah!
LOVETT: Good, you got it

Take for instance, Mrs. Mooney and her pie shop
Business never better using only pussycats and toast
And a pussy's good for maybe six or seven at the most
And I'm sure they can't compare as far as taste

SWEENEY: Mrs. Lovett, what a charming notion

LOVETT: Well, it does seem a waste

SWEENEY: Eminently practical
And yet appropriate as always, 

Mrs. Lovett, how I've lived
Without you all these years, I'll never know
How delectable, also undetectable

LOVETT: Think about it

Lots of other gentlemen'll
Soon be comin' for a shave
Won't they?
Think of all them pies

SWEENEY:How choice
How rare

For what's the sound of the world out there?

LOVETT: What, Mr. Todd?
What, Mr. Todd?
What is that sound?

SWEENEY: Those crunching noises pervading the air

LOVETT: Yes, Mr. Todd, yes, Mr. Todd
Yes, all around

SWEENEY: It's man devouring man, my dear

BOTH: And then who are we to deny it in here?

SWEENEY (SPOKEN): These are desperate times
Mrs. Lovett and desperate measures are called for

LOVETT (SPOKEN): Here we are, now, hot out of the oven

SWEENEY (SPOKEN): What is that?

LOVETT: It's priest, have a little priest

SWEENEY: Is it really good? 

LOVETT: Sir, it's too good, at least
Then again, they don't commit sins of the flesh
So it's pretty fresh

SWEENEY: Awful lot of fat 

LOVETT: only where it sat

SWEENEY: Haven't you got poet, or something like that?

LOVETT: No, y'see, the trouble with poet is
'Ow do you know it's deceased? Try the priest

INSTRUMENTAL

LOVETT: Lawyer's rather nice

SWEENEY: If it's for a price

LOVETT: Order something else, though to follow
Since no one should swallow it twice

SWEENEY: Anything that's lean?

LOVETT: Well then, if you're British and loyal
You might enjoy Royal Marine
Anyway, it's clean

Though of course it tastes of wherever it's been

SWEENEY: Is that squire on the fire?

LOVETT: Mercy, no sir, look closer
You'll notice it's grocer

SWEENEY: Looks thicker, more like vicar

LOVETT: No, it has to be grocer, it's green

SWEENEY: The history of the world, my love

LOVETT: Save a lot of graves
Do a lot of relatives favors

SWEENEY: Is those below serving those up above

LOVETT: Everybody shaves
So there should be plenty of flavors

SWEENEY: How gratifying for once to know

BOTH: That those above will serve those down below

SWEENY:What is that? 

LOVETT: It's fop

Finest in the shop
And we have some shepherd's pie peppered
With actual shepherd on top

And I've just begun
Here's the politician, so oily
It's served with a doily
Not one, 

SWEENEY: put it on a bun
Well, you never know if it's going to run

LOVETT: Try the friar
Fried, it's drier

SWEENEY: No, the clergy is really
Too coarse and too mealy

LOVETT: Then actor, that's compacter

SWEENEY: Yes, and always arrives overdone
I'll come again
When you have judge on the menu!

INSTRUMENTAL

SWEENEY: Have charity towards the world, my pet

LOVETT: Yes, yes, I know, my love

SWEENEY: We'll take the customers that we can get

LOVETT: High-born and low, my love

SWEENEY: We'll not discriminate great from small
No, we'll serve anyone

BOTH: Meaning anyone
And to anyone at all

Here are the originals! So punny:

No Good Deed -Wicked

Trying to think of more Halloween-ish things I almost completely glossed over witches! And what better musical about witches than the ever popular Wicked. I figured this song isn't posted nearly as much as "Popular" or "Defying Gravity" so I thought I'd post it instead. In this number, Elphaba decides to give into the "wicked" title people brand her with, because after all, what good ever came of being good?
Here are the lyrics:

Fiyero!

Eleka Nahmen Nahmen,
Atum atum Eleka Nahmen.
Eleka Nahmen Nahmen,
Atum atum Eleka Nahmen.

Let his flesh not be torn,
Let his blood leave no stain.
Though they beat him
Let him feel no pain.

Let his bones never break,
And however they try to destroy him
Let him never die,
Let him never die!

Eleka Nahmen Nahmen,
Atum atum Eleka Nahmen.
Eleka Nahmen Nahmen.
Atum atum...eleka, eleka...ugh!

What good is this chanting?
I don't even know what I'm reading!
I don't even know what trick I ought to try.
Fiyero, where are you?
Already dead or bleeding?
One more disaster I can add to my generous supply.

No good deed goes unpunished,
No act of charity goes unresented,
no good deed goes unpunished,
That's my new creed.

My road of good intentions
Led where such roads always lead.
No good deed
goes unpunished!

Nessa,
Doctor Dillamond,
Fiyero,
Fiyero!!!

One question haunts and hurts
Too much, too much to mention.
Was I really seeking good
Or just seeking attention?
Is that all good deeds are
When looked at with an ice-cold eye?
If that's all good deeds are,
Maybe that's the reason why--

No good deed goes unpunished,
All helpful urges should be circumvented.
No good deed goes unpunished,
Sure I meant well,
Well, look at what well meant did.

All right enough, so be it!
So be it then--
Let all Oz be agreed,
I'm wicked through and through,
Since I can not succeed Fiyero saving you,
I promise no good deed
Will I attempt to do again!
Ever again!

No good deed
Will I do
Again!

Here's Idina belting up a storm in this one: 

I Want More -Lestat

Keeping up with the Halloween theme, here is one from Elton John's 2006 Lestat, based on the Anne Rice novels about the vampire Lestat. In the 1990s they made the movie, Interview with the Vampire, starring Tom Cruise as the titular vamp, along with Brad Pitt as Louie, and Kirsten Dunst as Claudia. 
In this number, recently turned child vampire, Claudia is having a musical temper tantrum when Lestat and Louie find her dining on the maid...But the blood-thirsty and hungry child just wants MORE! It's quite a fun song with a fair bit of great belting. (See video below!)
Here are the lyrics:

Don't chastize me, I'm a child acting as a child does

You ply me with lifeless dolls when what I want is blood

You took me from the streets to complete this union

Do you expect some little saint kneeling for communion

I want more, I want mooore!

Look at you, you disapprove like two fussy mothers

Who are you to criticize the habits of another

Did I rock the family boat by dining on the help

Aren't I just the little beast, well I can't stop myself

I want more, I want mooore!

I don't want their milk and honey, they can keep those fine herb teas

I don't need their chocolate hot and sweet, it's thick and red for me

For everyone that comes along knocking on this door

Don't blame me, it's your fault that I want mooore!

[DIALOGUE]

Look at me, I'm so sweet, I'm innocent and charming

But all you see is some spoiled brat, a child so demanding

Don't fuss so, you both know the rapture of the bite

Is not monstrous, it's just Claudia's, healthy appetite

And I want more, I want mooore!

Should I be the little miss, and while away the hours

I think not, I'd rather hunt than cut up paper flowers

Thanks to you, things I do verge on the obscene

What a pair of hippocrites, well this cat wants her cream

I want more, I want more, I want mooore!

[DIALOGUE]

I wander through the streets at night and find a charming couple

Who fear that such an angel lost could find herself in trouble

They can't resist my trembling lip, my eyes so filled with tears

They rest my head upon their necks... aaah, oh dear!

Mooore! I want more, I want MOOORE!!!

I don't want their milk and honey, they can keep those fine herb teas

I don't need their chocolate hot and sweet, it's thick and red for me

For everyone that comes along knocking on this door

Don't blame me, it's your fault that I want more!

I want moore! 

I want MORE!

I want MOOORE!

I WANT MORE!!!

Here's a performance of Allison Fischer, the original Claudia, bringing down the house:

Dentist -Little Shop of Horrors

Another Halloween-y themed one here from Little Shop of Horrors. Sing as insane sadistic dentist, Orin Scrivello as you explain your calling in life. After all, what better way to instill fear in the hearts of others than by being a dentist? In the 1986 movie Steve Martin portrays the maniacal sadist in what I consider to be the hilight of his career (See video below!) So have fun with this one, I know I will!
Here are the lyrics:

[SCRIVELLO]
When I was young and just a bad little kid
My momma noticed funny things I did
Like shootin' puppies with a B B gun

I'd poison guppies, and when I was done
I'd find a pussy cat and bash its head
That's when my momma said

[TRIO] (What did she say?)

She said "My boy, I think someday
You'll find a way to make your natural tendencies pay"

You'll be a dentist

[TRIO] (Be a dentist)

You have a talent for causing things pain[TRIO] (Pain)

Son, be a dentist[TRIO] (Son, be a dentist)

People will pay you to be inhumane[TRIO] (Inhumane)

Your temperament's wrong for the priesthood
And teaching would suit you still less
Son, be a dentist you'll be a success

[GIRLS]
Here he is folks, the leader of the plaque!
Watch him suck up that gas, oh my God
He is a dentist and he'll never ever be any good
Who wants their teeth done by the Marquis De Sade?

[PATIENT]
Oh, that hurts, wait, I'm not numb!

[SCRIVELLO]
Ehh, shut up, open wide, here I come!

I am your dentist[TRIO] (Goodness Gracious)

And I enjoy the career that I picked[TRIO] (Love it)

I am your dentist[TRIO] (Fitting braces)

And I get off on the pain I inflict[TRIO] (You really love it)

I thrill when I drill a bicuspid[TRIO] (Ooh, bicuspid)

It's swell, though they tell me I'm maladjusted[TRIO] (Dentist)

And though it may 'cause my patients distress[TRIO] (Distress)

Somewhere, somewhere in heaven above me
I know that my momma's proud of me
Oh, momma
'Cause I'm a dentist and a success

Say aah
[PATIENT] (Ahh)

Say aah[PATIENT] (Ahh)

Say AHH!!!

[PATIENT](Ahh!!!)
Now spit!

Here's Steve Martin being awesome:

Life on Mars -David Bowie

So I watched the premiere of American Horror Story: Freak Show and (not to give any spoilers) this song was featured most magnificently in the episode, so I was inspired to post it. I hope you'll join! It's not my usual show tune, but I think it can be a show stopper. And it's vaguely Halloween-y...right? Nah, probably not. But it's still pretty great.
Here are the lyrics:

It's a god-awful small affair
To the girl with the mousy hair
But her mommy is yelling "No"
And her daddy has told her to go

But her friend is nowhere to be seen
Now she walks through her sunken dream
To the seat with the clearest view
And she's hooked to the silver screen

But the film is a saddening bore
'Cause she's lived it ten times or more
She could spit in the eyes of fools
As they ask her to focus on

Sailors fighting in the dance hall
Oh man! look at those cavemen go
It's the freakiest show

Take a look at the lawman
Beating up the wrong guy
Oh man! Wonder if he'll ever know
He's in the best selling show
Is there life on Mars?

It's on America's tortured brow
That Mickey Mouse has grown up a cow
Now the workers have struck for fame
'Cause Lennon's on sale again

See the mice in their million hordes
From Ibiza to the Norfolk Broads
Rule Britannia is out of bounds
To my mother, my dog, and clowns

But the film is a saddening bore
'Cause I wrote it ten times or more
It's about to be writ again
As I ask you to focus on

Sailors fighting in the dance hall
Oh man! Look at those cavemen go
It's the freakiest show

Take a look at the Lawman
Beating up the wrong guy
Oh man! Wonder if he'll ever know
He's in the best selling show
Is there life on Mars?

Here's Bowie's video of the song:

And here's the version on American Horror Story: Freak Show. Don't watch this one if you don't want spoilers tough!

Death is Just Around the Corner -The Addams Family Musical

Since Halloween is coming up, I thought I'd start posting a few songs of what I consider to be spooky/Halloweeny musicals. I thought I'd kick it off with this fun number from The Addams Family musical. In this one, upon learning that her daughter Wednesday plans to get married without permission, a "frazzled" Morticia calms herself with the peaceful reminder that "death is just around the corner." This number is full of great dark humor with music and lyrics by Andrew Lippa. I invite you to check out the cast album if you haven't, it's actually got some good ones and some great performances by Nathan Lane and Bebe Neuwirth, and I hope you join this one! It's technically a group number, but with the instrumental I have, it works well as a solo.
Here are the lyrics:

My daughter's getting married.
I can't believe it's true.
She doesn't ask her parents
before she says "I do".

And what about my husband?
Oblivious, naive.
This evening's getting serious:
these Ohioans won't leave.

But I can't let these latest problems
rob me of my bliss.
For when I'm scared of true disaster,
I remember this:

Death is just around the corner
waiting patiently to strike.
One unplanned electrocution
that's the kind of end
I can comprehend.

When I'm feeling uninspired
Or I need a little spree
I'm reborn knowing
death is just around the corner
coming after me.

Get it? Coroner. Death is just around the... corner.

Death is just around the corner
Waiting high upon the hill
Someone buried in an avalanche (gasp)
that's the kind of gig
I can really dig.

Marriage often disappoints you.
Not each husband is a gem.
So I'll mourn
knowing death is just around the corner
coming after them.

If life's all plums
I'll muddle through some.
But when death comes
I hope it's gruesome. (hot-cha)

Some people die from public stoning,
faulty wiring, faulty zoning,
cherry pits they didn't know were there.
It could be by a jungle cat

A slippery mat

A baseball bat

Perhaps an unsuccessful love affair.

It could be on a speeding train,
It could be underwater.
It could be too much Novocain
or even by your daughter.

Perhaps a bad mosquito bite
A title fight
Religious rite

My darlings, it might even be tonight.

Death is just around the corner
no one's ever been immune.
Turning off a respirator
with a simple click
strenuously quick.

I can face a new tomorrow
if I make it past today.
I feel good saying
death is just around the corner
simply on its way.

Death is just around the corner
and you have to heed the call.
Don't ask why
For your death is just around the corner
You and I
Happy being both the mourned and mourner
Say goodbye
Because death is just around the corner
Coming for us all.

Here's a performance of this one with the fabulous Bebe Neuwirth: